Posts Tagged ‘anger management’
One thing that baffles many people is why two equally gifted athletes can have different levels of success. In other words there are many talented athletes that compete. Many have similar skills.But there are just a few out there who really attain success while other wallow in misery and self-pity. In this article we are going to examine what is the key difference.Meaning we would try to find out what makes those few chosen athletes to be successful while others fail.
It may be hard figure out at first but once you look and observe it for a long time it is easy to see why. Because when you really look at it the ones who succeed have the proper mindset.To succeed in sports or in any profession for that matter you must have mental toughness or the right mindset. Those that succeed have their mind trained properly. As a family counselor San Diego practice I have a lot of parents who want their child succeed bring their kids in for this.
Yes, success starts in the mind.Any person would not be successful if they are weak mentally. It is a competitive field and so it is the edge you will need to succeed. That is why my sports psychologist San Diego practice gets so many clients. People realize it is what will set them apart and help them succeed in their sports.
Most of the time a lot of athletes only rely on their physical gifts to bring them success.But once they meet others who are as gifted as they are they soon realize that it is not enough to be gifted physically only.This can make them frustrated and angry at themselves which can wreak havoc on their careers and lives. Sometimes it leads them to need my anger management San Diego services.That would be the time when their anger needs to be dealt with also.
So now you may already realize why two physically gifted athletes can have different levels of success.If they can train their minds to be tough they can really be successful.But if they only rely on their gifts alone then they should really be very gifted for them to be successful.
It is hard to figure out why two physically gifted athletes sometimes have different levels of success in their profession.In other words there are a lot of physically gifted athletes out there. Many have similar skills.But only a few get to be successful while others come up short.In this article we ar going to find out why is that so. In other words the secret to success will be revealed.
It may be hard figure out at first but once you look and observe it for a long time it is easy to see why. Because when you really look at it the ones who succeed have the proper mindset.To succeed in sports or in any profession for that matter you must have mental toughness or the right mindset.Those who are successful have had training with regards to their mental toughness. As a family counselor San Diego practice I have a lot of parents who want their child succeed bring their kids in for this.
Yes, in order to succeed your mind must be up to the challenge.If a person is weak mentally they will not succeed at anything. It is a competitive field and so it is the edge you will need to succeed. That is why my sports psychologist San Diego practice gets so many clients. People realize it is what will set them apart and help them succeed in their sports.
Most of the time physical gifts are what these athletes rely on to become successful. But once they reach a level where people have the same skills they soon start to fail.This can lead to anger and frustration which can cause a lot more problems. Sometimes it leads them to need my anger management San Diego services.That is the time when anger management would also be needed.
So now you may already know why two equally gifted persons have different levels of success. If they prepare their minds the right way they can experience tremendous success. On the other hand if they don’t and try to succeed on talent alone they will fail.
One of the things that is incredible to watch are great athletes.What they do at times seem physically impossible for most of us.But what is true is that some of those popular athletes are just as physically gifted as the other players who are not that popular.Their secret to being more successful than the others is because they have more mental toughness.What people do not realize is that being more mentally tough can make one be more successful.
Let’s look at some examples. As a San Diego family therapist I see it all the time with student athletes. You see kids with great physical skills.But a lot of times they do not achieve success because their mental toughness hinders them. We see it all the time in professional sports.You watch a lot of athletes who fail to bring their A-game and win it all. Even though they are the best at their game. When it comes time to win the big one, they can’t do it mentally.The ones who succeed are the ones who are both mentally and physically tough.
That is why as a San Diego sports psychologist I have so many clients come in who need a breakthrough.They are physically superior but still do not succeed. Most of the time it is in their mind. That is where a service such as mine can help them overcome.Because most of the time they just need to get past what is troubling them in their minds.Once they have hurdled that then they can be successful.
Another thing that I witness in athletes that hinders them is their anger. If an athlete is unable to control their emotions they can’t win consistently. Doing anger management counseling has allowed me to turn athletes around who were letting anger get the best of them. But by seeking help and being willing to change they can achieve success.
How do you express your anger?
- Your get “Hotheaded” and more intensely cursing and throwing things
- You do not show anger in loud ways but you are chronically irritable and grumpy
- Or constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments
The choices above simply shows are a sign that you are lacking more constructively means express your anger. This beaviour isn’t likely to lead to many successful relationships.
Expressing anger in a controlled way is extremely difficult. The tendency for most is to explode and rant on.
To some extent, you can do things that will take your mind off the anger.
But do you think walking out of the situaton a healthy way? It is important to express your anger because it will pile up inside you.
Why it is necessary to express your anger? If your anger is not allowed as an outward expression, it can turn inward—on yourself. It can create problems like getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why. Or displaying hostile and cynical behavior. Worst-Case scenario would be : hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Here are some ways on how to control your anger :
- By expressing you can say what your needs are, and how to get them, without hurting others.
- You can suppress your anger by converting it into a more constructive behavior or redirecting and focusing on something positive.
- You can calm down by controlling your inward and outward behavior, let the feelings subside to avoid health related problems
Remember that anger is a completely normal, human expression of emotion. It can turn into a destructive, unhealthy situation when it gets out of control.
Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Try to forgive the person who wronged you.
Neil Warner
PS: Need Results fast? Visit: Positive Conflicts, And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”
You may also want to check out : Anger Management On Line for your online anger management class
Do you wonder why your strong emotion hurt your partner and destroy a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of constantly being overcome by it? Yes- if you change your mindset and attitude. This means that you must stop making excuses for your bad temper. You must put in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true colors. Although it is an expression of extreme negative emotion, it shatters relationship and breeds violence.
Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”
If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.
To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must apply practical methods in your daily life to control your anger.
To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an earlier time.
These are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:
- Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
- Threatening others
- Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
- Feeling rejected
- Withdrawal from friends
- Loss of temper
So what is the best solution?
You should find out what causes your rage and when you do, develop strategies to control your anger.
You may also want to ask yourself these questions :
Is your anger important or reasonable enough?
Is it possible that you make the situation complicated?
Some ways to help you control your anger:
Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you
- Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
- It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
- Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
- Use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
- Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
- Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.
Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
You may also want to check out this online anger management class
Building longer and peaceful relationship with someone is one source of happiness.
Experience tells you that It’s not easy to build a lasting relationship. Some things happend beyond expectation and you find yourself unable to maintain your relationship.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a powerful emotion. Whether you choose express it or not, it is still one thing that is going to do some damage.
What if you have ever loved someone who was angry at the world? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
There are situations in a relationship where one becomes really angry or always gets angry on anything and it creates a need to try to control everything. Anger can damage a relationship. Anger results to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely and anger seems to boil in degrees.
But ask yourself:
Does this help our relationship healthy?
Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:
- - If anger comes into the surface, it creates drama and crises in the situation, and lingers long after it leaves – It is fueled with a lot of negativity that it can quickly destroy a relationship that as been positive or good for a long period of time.
- Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected by anger.
- Anger can affect anything especially love, self esteem and trust.
- - Anger is not a peaceful emotion, it is full of uncertainty and fear, you’ll never know what happens next – Anger makes you say and do things that you will regret for the rest of your life.
Too much anger in your relationship can affect the intimacy between you and your partner.Because being in a critical situation will make you unhappy and cause more ill feelings towards your partner and eventually would destroy your intimacy.
Intimacy is delicate, once destroyed by anger, it affects trust and honesty. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance are the causes of anger and this can affect the intimacy of your relationship.
Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.
Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.
If your relationship is truly valuable and you want to protect the emotional bond you that you have invested, the two of you should accept and understand each other. Do not allow yourselves to erupt without talking what should be done to make things clear. Find ways to discuss things in a peaceful manner.
To your happiness!
Neil Warner,
PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts“
What is a Phobia?
A phobia ( from the Greek word ëPhobusí, meaning Fear), is an irrational, intense and persistent fear of particular situations, objects, activities or persons.
This inhibiting, overwhelming fear that surges from within is always triggered by something outside oneself. It is this external symbolic representation of an inward anxiety.
How are phobias formed?
Phobias are formed in the early years of development when everything is about learning and all experiences are challenging and new.
If a traumatic or highly stressful or charged situation was experienced, a young mind may not have been able to deal with it as we deal with such experiences in our adult lives. The child’s psyche bottles up and represses the associated emotions and thus creates a Phobia which is an intense and uncontrollable fear to deter you from experiencing that situation again.
Social Phobia and Social Anxiety describe a very common problem for people who suffer from the fear of social situations and the interaction with other people that can bring on the fear and anxiety of being judged and criticized by other people; leading to feelings of inadequacy; being put on the spot; being the center of attention; being watched doing something; humiliation; panic attacks and depression.
Social anxiety is the third largest psychological problem in the world today.
When looking into finding out more in regard to social anxiety; it is always suggested you do some careful research yourself.
Many people suffer from this traumatic problem in their everyday life and it’s physical effects are represented in people blushing, turning red, dry throat and mouth, palpitations and an overall feeling of intense fear.
The overall external stresses in one’s life ( ie. Job, work, relationships, money) will have a significant effect on the strength of the anxiety within the person, thus the more stresses and strains, the more severe the symptoms and anxieties become.
As a professional and experienced hypnotherapist, social anxiety is by far the most common condition I treat.
Panic Attacks
One of the most common symptoms of anxiety types is the dreaded Panic Attack. Panic attacks are are sudden, discrete periods of intense anxiety.
According to the American Psychological Association panic attack symptoms commonly last approximately ten minutes. However, panic attacks can be as short as 1-5 minutes, while more severe panic attacks may form a cyclic series of episodes, lasting for an extended period, sometimes hours.
Symptoms of a typical Panic Attack would be a sudden intense anxiety or fear; sense of impending doom or disaster; sweating or trembling; pounding heart and chest tightness; shortness of breath; being fixed to a spot; and dizziness to name a few.
Are you a person that struggles to control their anger? Are you looking for potential ways to control your anger? In this article I will be providing free tips and advice for people who require help with their anger management problem.
Now at the outset I would like to make it clear that I am not an anger management counsellor and that I am not attempting to sell you anything here. I actually offer various forms of stuttering therapies, I also have an interest in offering online guitar lessons for beginners and an affordable DVD duplication service.
So you have anger management issues and are in need of help. The time has arrived when you need to change; things are not good; in fact there is a danger that your life could spiral out of control. The time has come to re-take control of your life, you are determined to learn from the mistakes of the past. Today will be the start of a new you – the real you – a kind, warm-hearted and caring person.
However bad things may have become there is a future to think about. It may at this stage seem as if this future may not be that bright however things change, that is if you are willing to change.
The opening question has to be: Are you determined to change the way in which you live your life? Other questions quickly follow on:
Are you willing to learn from your past mistakes?
Are you happy to attend some type of counselling or anger management course?
Are you determined to win the war against your inner demons?
Will you put in the required effort to make the necessary changes work?
I am hoping of course, more for your sake than mine that you have answered yes to all of these questions, as are the people closest to you such as your immediate family and friends.
It is a time to be honest with yourself. What has been the main cause of your anger issues? Are you under too much stress at work and in your home life? Do you drink too much alcohol?
It is prudent that at times like this that we seek the help of anger management experts. Reach out to these people as they can be of help to you.
Be kind to yourself; take a holiday, book yourself for a massive or some other form of alternative therapy – basically something that can help you to relax. The body needs a treat from time to time and by that I do not mean alcohol which is well known to be the biggest cause of anger related issues.
Give it your best shot – I am sure that if you believe in yourself you will succeed.
As a motivational healthcare speaker, over and over again I’m asked to present programs clarifying my approach to anger management. Managing your anger well involves going over the stories you tell yourself and also instituting an effective biological-psychological approach.
Fact is, anger can be, on occasions, an entirely appropriate response . It’s an energy driving change (on both an individual and collective level). Anger can spur you to take the action (even when reticent to do so) necessary to create long-lasting change. So it’s entirely okay (and often entirely appropriate) to experience anger. The secret is to gain an understanding of how to express anger in a careful fashion.
Also, anger can be directed inward as well as externally. This “inward” rage can damage your health. There is considerable research to indicate that badly controlled fury has destructive biological costs to the cardiovascular and respiratory systems
It’s also vital that you handle your anger from a combined biological-psychological viewpoint. As a motivational speaker for healthcare audiences, it’s clear that most people are oblivious of this dual view. (Even healthcare experts, such as doctors, nurses and mental health consultants, regularly fail to understand this fundamental aspect. Which is why, in my role as a motivational speaker and author, I focus on this vital issue.)
The Biology Of Anger
It’s key that you gain a rudimentary comprehension of the brain pathway that fuels an anger response. This is not just a lesson in basic biology, it’s a fundamental part of the anger management puzzle. That’s because this cerebral circuitry (which came into being at some stage in our long-forgotten ancestral history) is far more powerful than the majority folks grasp.
A fundamental piece of your emotional brain is called the amygdala. It’s a essential aspect of your brain’s rapid-warning mechanism. Any category of perceived threat (physically dangerous or otherwise) can activate the amygdala. Once stirred up the amygdala produces an assortment of physiological responses. (Every one of the “symptoms” of fury such as a rapid heartbeat, muscular tension in the shoulders, flushed face and a knot in the stomach.) Also, this entire mechanism operates at an unconscious level. (FYI: This neural pathway, vital to your understanding of anger, was sorted out by Professor Joseph LeDoux.)
The Psychology Of Anger
Now you recognize the raw power of your brain’s emotion pathway, let’s think about the (equally vital) psychological aspects of anger. Research by psychologists has shown that our self-talk is full of downbeat stories. (When I describe these stories in my healthcare speeches, it’s obvious that attendees relate to them.)
One sort of story we tell ourselves is packed with absolute words like “always or totally or I can’t”. Instances of this sort of story include: “You can’t do that is this society.” And: “She’s always grumbling.” Or: “We have utterly failed.” These tales establish a “black and white” standpoint that leaves you without any alternatives. Without a doubt “It’s a complete disaster,” does not give you a great deal of “wiggle room”.
A Healthcare Speaker’s Combined Technique
What follows is the anger management strategy I outline in each and every one my healthcare speeches; a combined biological-psychological approach. The problem with a narrow biological approach to anger management is that the negative story you are making up will re-trigger the emotional brain circuit. Conversely, trying to dispute the upsetting story you’re telling yourself is tough if you haven’t got the biological component of your anger under control.
The best method for managing the physiological element of your rage is to habitually carry out some kind of relaxation technique. Individually, I’ve learned that meditation is most helpful. Routinely taking a few moments out of my frantic calendar (yep, it doesn’t take very long) has worked miracles. When my day gets a little too stressful, it has helped me to “observe” my negative thoughts and feelings pass by without getting too caught up in them.
With respect to the pessimistic stories. Simply understanding that you’re allowing yourself to get mad at a story you’re making up can be extremely potent. In addition, you can argue (with yourself) against your negative story. For example, if you’re mired in a descending spiral of “what if” questions, think precise percentages and likelihoods. Sure, it’s vaguely possible you’ll lose your job but what’s the real likelihood (without the emotional overlay)? Or, if your stories contain lots of over the top absolute words like “utter,” “completely” and “always,” replace them with softer words like “now and again”.
Bottom line: Whatever pieces of advice you elect to adopt (and healthcare speakers have a ton of them) just remember to take a combined biological-psychological approach. This is the central key to improving your EI, including handling your anger.
Anger is an inevitable part of everyone’s life. It’s certainly not an unusual emotional response. Really, it’s a normal, healthy response to potentially threatening situations.
However, anger isn’t a good feeling. As soon as your temper flares, your whole body feels the effects. If you don’t deal with it immediately and effectively, it will escalate. Over time, you’ll damage both your emotional and physical health.
Very often, people feel anger when their feelings are hurt. When you feel angry, your impulse is to retaliate so that others feel as badly as you do. You start to use it as a defensive measure to ward off further attacks. Ultimately, however, acting out on your anger will cause you even more damage.
However, your feelings of anger don’t have to be worrisome for you. The key is in learning how to manage your feelings. Most people learn this naturally throughout their lives, starting in childhood. Others, however, just can’t seem to get a handle on their temper. But luckily, there are all sorts of tips and tricks to help you deal with your anger issues.
Using some simple relaxation techniques can be surprising useful. This will help to calm the centers in your nervous system that trigger the anger emotion. There are several means by which you can achieve this. For anger management help over the long term, mindfulness exercises such as yoga and meditation are invaluable for teaching you how to relax your mind.
Oftentimes, though, fast acting relaxation techniques are called for. They’re particularly useful when you’re in the middle of a fit of rage. Try taking some deep breaths, which will cause your diaphragm to expand and increase oxygen intake. Another method to try is to make an attempt to delay your reaction. It’s actually truly effective to count to ten. Either of these methods will help you calm down enough to think more objectively about the circumstances.
Another effective approach to anger management is through the use of cognitive techniques. The plan is that you need to develop new responses to difficult circumstances. What most of these anger management tips accomplish is to help you learn to replace your angry outbursts with more appropriate actions.
The best approach to anger management issues involves facing up to your emotions and learning to respond more appropriately. This will help immensely in eradicating bad responses. It will also help in many areas of your life where control is important. And most importantly, both your mental health and physical health will benefit from your new found skills.