Are you a good or bad enemy?

Do you escape and avoid arguments in your relationship?
If you are too proud or stubborn to admit things are not working right, that makes you a bad enemy.
A good enemy on the other hand, does not avoid any arguments. A good enemy listens and makes an effort to solve the conflict. If you have a strength of character and enough patience, you would be able to handle situations easily.

There is a hidden content of the whole idea of arguing- your partner is crying out because there is a need for contact.

Signs of being a good enemy to your partner:
You always think about your partner’s feelings, if they feel good about themselves each day. – Be able to say an apology and break communication barriers – Praising your partner whenever they contributed something that helps your relationship – You acknowledge the problems in your relationship and helping you partner understand why it is important to discuss the problems. – You recognize and accept your shortcomings and think of ways for you to become a better partner – You treat your partner with respect and dignity at all times
Your day gets even worse if you do not only deal with the stresses of daily living but also a difficult partner. If you are able to deal with your problems, it shows that you have a skill in fair fighting.

The skills of a good enemy:

• Be able to accept the things that your partner find difficult in your relationship
• Deal with the problems in an calm and self-empowered manner
• Even if your partner can be difficult, you are able to focus the positive energy that enhances the relationship
• Be able to control your emotions, know when to stop and to say enough, and be able to make solid decisions
• Willingness Negotiate a win-win soluton with your partner

You should always work through problems and settle it in a cooperative way. After all, you and your partner thrive in a mutual understanding and peaceful atmosphere. Your goal must be clear, that fighting is not to make you a bad enemy, but rather the opposite.

Is your relationship beyond repair? 
It may not be as bad as you think…as long as you still care.By applying the ideas we offer in the ebook, you will become a Positive Conflict agent, what I call being a “Good Enemy”!
Want to know more?

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of ”The Art of Positive Conflicts“

• Acceptance is the key! You must accept that you are being abused. You will get nowhere if your mind is set into believing that abusive behavior is normal.
• Stop feeling guilty and blaming everything to yourself!. You are not responsible for the abusive behavior of your partner.
• What has happened; has happened. In your life, there are bad chapters that you should try to forget.
• Be confident to yourself and realize your self worth.
• Love yourself for what you are and try to remember the kind of person you are before.

You really can’t make a conscious decision to “forget” your past because healing will come with time. If you think counseling is necessary, then find a good counselor. You may find someone else to share your experiences with while you are healing.

The information in your past can help you with your future. Patience and trust is something that you must have inorder to heal the wounds of emotional abuse. If you allow positive things to happen, everything in the past will be recast in a different light.

It’s important to move on, and do what you want to do with your life, and find yourself again.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘

If you siad YES, you should bear in mind that his reactions has nothing to do with YOU! The fact is that he would react in the same way to any one who threatens to enter into his private world. His fear is not of you, but of intimacy and yielding to emotional compromise with any woman. Know where you are when conflict appears and have more power to decide what is next in your life.

To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Get your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘
before I take it off line!

• Your get “Hotheaded” and more intensely cursing and throwing things
• You do not show anger in loud ways but you are chronically irritable and grumpy
• Or constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments

The choices above simply shows are a sign that you are lacking more constructively means express your anger. This beaviour isn’t likely to lead to many successful relationships.
Expressing anger in a controlled way is extremely difficult. The tendency for most is to explode and rant on.
To some extent, you can do things that will take your mind off the anger.
But do you think walking out of the situaton a healthy way? It is important to express your anger because it will pile up inside you.
Why it is necessary to express your anger? If your anger is not allowed as an outward expression, it can turn inward—on yourself. It can create problems like getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why. Or displaying hostile and cynical behavior. Worst-Case scenario would be : hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Here are some ways on how to control your anger :

• By expressing you can say what your needs are, and how to get them, without hurting others.
• You can suppress your anger by converting it into a more constructive behavior or redirecting and focusing on something positive.
• You can calm down by controlling your inward and outward behavior, let the feelings subside to avoid health related problems

Remember that anger is a completely normal, human expression of emotion. It can turn into a destructive, unhealthy situation when it gets out of control.

Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Try to forgive the person who wronged you.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? Visit: Positive Conflicts, And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

You may also want to check out : Anger Management On Line for your online anger management class

Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”

If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.

To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must apply practical methods in your daily life to control your anger.

To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an earlier time.

These are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:

• Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
• Threatening others
• Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
• Feeling rejected
• Withdrawal from friends
• Loss of temper

So what is the best solution?

You should find out what causes your rage and when you do, develop strategies to control your anger.

You may also want to ask yourself these questions :

Is your anger important or reasonable enough?

Is it possible that you make the situation complicated?

Some ways to help you control your anger:

Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you

• Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like   exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
• It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
• Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
• Use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
• Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
• Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.

Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
You may also want to check out this online anger management class

But ask yourself:
Does this help our relationship healthy?

Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:

• - If anger comes into the surface, it creates drama and crises in the situation, and lingers long after it leaves – It is fueled with a lot of negativity that it can quickly destroy a relationship that as been positive or good for a long period of time.
• Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected by anger.
• Anger can affect anything especially love, self esteem and trust.
• - Anger is not a peaceful emotion, it is full of uncertainty and fear, you’ll never know what happens next – Anger makes you say and do things that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Too much anger in your relationship can affect the intimacy between you and your partner.Because being in a critical situation will make you unhappy and cause more ill feelings towards your partner and eventually would destroy your intimacy.
Intimacy is delicate, once destroyed by anger, it affects trust and honesty. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance  are the causes of anger and this can affect the intimacy of your relationship.

Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.

 Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.

If your relationship is truly valuable and you want to protect the emotional bond you that you have invested, the two of you should accept and understand each other. Do not allow yourselves to erupt without talking what should be done to make things clear. Find ways to discuss things in a peaceful manner.

To your happiness!
Neil Warner,

PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts“

Here’s how it usually goes… You & her have a bit of a bust up, and she either leaves you or tells you its over. For the first few days you are probably annoyed at how it’s turned out. Maybe you’re blaming her. The next few days you calm down and start to miss her a bit.

You realise a lot of time has gone by, maybe too much to try and get her back. And you don’t know how to go about making contact again. As you worry about this, time is ticking away quickly.

Maybe if you wait a few days she will get in touch with you. But she doesn’t. While you twiddle your thumbs she is being noticed by other guys. They always seem to somehow notice single girls. After a couple of weeks there’s been no calls from you, no messages at all. She decides she may as well go on that date with the guy from work.

Here’s how it should go… You split up after a bit of a row. Nothing too serious but still, you both aren’t talking. You decide to take a time out for a couple of days to get your head into shape. You formulate your plan of attack for getting her back.

You kick-start your game plan over the next day or two. You follow the instructions to the letter and are confident you have control & the knowledge to get her back. After a couple weeks you are back in contact and on a regular basis. You may be just having lunch, but you know what it’s going to lead up to.

Get your hands on the “how do I get my girlfriend back” plan I mentioned here at this website…

MakeupNotBreakup.com

…Getting your ex back is a choice, not a gamble.

Do you have a feeling that you need to defeat the other, in order to restore the balance?

Let’s discuss how to manage interpersonal conflicts to avoid the “winner” “looser” idea in a situation…

There may be some reasons that justifies the idea of “winning” over an argument, instead of looking a an issue to be resolved together.

Maybe because of the most common perspective that you fight for a scarce resource; forcing you to “fight for the last bottle of water.”

But In order to play this type of conflict you need an “other;” someone or something to act as our opponent or obstacle, the bad one..

The battle scenario would look like this:

1. The bad one is competing with you for a scare resource.
2. As result of this situation only one of you can be a winner:
3. If you attack first, he will counter attack..
4. If he move first, you will feel compelled to react and ‘defend’ your self.
5. Whatever course of action, the only possible issue will be escalating the dispute.

Things to note here:

• Even if you want to avoid the conflict, inaction will create the conditions for the other to do the first move forcing you to react.
• Unless you step back and find another way, there can not be a real winner. 
  Even if you win over the resources, the price to pay is undermining your relationship.
• If you too afraid to take action and radically change the way you approach this confrontations, the only option left is to fight.
• This over time will result to unresolved and escalated confrontation that ends up with both sides isolated and moving in different directions.
• Failed communication leads to more isolation, pain, and anger.

If you follow this model to the end, sooner or later you will destroy your relationship.

What do you really need to change this pattern?

Remember the real “relationship” lies beneath. It is alive and well and full of love.

Just don’t make this small ‘negotiation’ compromise your relationship.

Using positive techniques on how to manage conflicts, you learn more ways resolve conflicts other than to have a winner and a loser.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? get your Freen copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

What kind of “underhand” tactics can be used to get your ex back? You could stalk, kidnap or even blackmail your ex. Three definite ways to get yourself banged up in jail.

We are talking about psychological manipulation. And when we say “manipulation” we’re talking very subtle manipulation. Nothing that comes even close to crossing that imaginary line we all know we shouldn’t cross.

As humans in general, we all kind of respond to similar emotional factors. We’re going to be pushing some emotional buttons and hoping they work in getting your ex back. If you can use these tactics right, as part of your overall plan, you could get your ex back in double quick time.

One example of psychological mind games is this. A good friend, albeit a lazy friend won’t go to the gym with you. So you say “it’s ok if your body isn’t up to the task”.

Two seconds later they are raring to go saying “of course I’m capable of a workout”. You are using psychology, and in this case their pride to manipulate the situation your way. These are the same tactics you can use to easily get your ex back.

A great example is the employee of the month competition Employers use this to psychologically manipulate extra output from their workforce. The prize is generally some worthless accolade like a plaque. A great example of psychological manipulation.

Ask yourself this question now. How badly do you want them back? Will you just let them slowly slip away? This is normally what happens when you do nothing.

Or do you get down & dirty, get yourself a handful of psychological tactics to get your ex back and live happy ever after. The tools you need are at this website….

MakeupNotBreakup.com

Try to honestly answer this questions to yourself:

• Is your ultimate fear to be left alone, without no one to love you?
• Do you sacrifice your own wishes, just to please your partner?
• If your partner abuses you, do you become submissive?
• Do you felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid arguments?

If you are in a situation wherein emotional abuse frequently happens, the effects are dangerous than any form of abuse. Emotional abuse can be subtle, it makes you feel that you are the problem or it is your problem. It makes you doubt your self-worth and erodes your self-esteem.

Here are the negative effects of long-term emotional abuse:

• Low self-esteem
• Emotional Stress
• Health Problems
• Depression
• Isolation
• Alcohol or drug use

You may seem introverted, quiet, or may appear confident and extrovert, which is an act to fool the outside world so that you can hide the humiliation you are experiencing. You may have deliberately chosen not to seek help but decided to deal with it. But ongoing contact can drag you back in the abusive situation again and again.

So if your partner is unwilling to seek help or knowledge, you must try to do something about it.
The recovery process can be long and painful. It may influence your mentality and may decide to hurt yourself. Long-term emotional abuse may result to suicide. You would become fearful and feel undeseving and unlovable.

If only you would seek proper counseling, this chain of suffering could be stopped once and for all.

To your happiness,

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘