Posts Tagged ‘divorce’
Arguing is a part of any relationship. Conflict helps you relationship grow. Even the strongest relationships can go through some tough times. Some relationships, if not carefully handled, can easily fall into pitfalls.
You become an enemy in the eyes of your significant Other if there is a fight between the two fo you. What kind of enemy do you think you are?
Are you a good or bad enemy?
Do you escape and avoid arguments in your relationship?
If you are too proud or stubborn to admit things are not working right, that makes you a bad enemy.
A good enemy on the other hand, does not avoid any arguments. A good enemy listens and makes an effort to solve the conflict. If you have a strength of character and enough patience, you would be able to handle situations easily.
There is a hidden content of the whole idea of arguing- your partner is crying out because there is a need for contact.
Signs of being a good enemy to your partner:
You always think about your partner’s feelings, if they feel good about themselves each day. – Be able to say an apology and break communication barriers – Praising your partner whenever they contributed something that helps your relationship – You acknowledge the problems in your relationship and helping you partner understand why it is important to discuss the problems. – You recognize and accept your shortcomings and think of ways for you to become a better partner – You treat your partner with respect and dignity at all times
Your day gets even worse if you do not only deal with the stresses of daily living but also a difficult partner. If you are able to deal with your problems, it shows that you have a skill in fair fighting.
The skills of a good enemy:
- Be able to accept the things that your partner find difficult in your relationship
- Deal with the problems in an calm and self-empowered manner
- Even if your partner can be difficult, you are able to focus the positive energy that enhances the relationship
- Be able to control your emotions, know when to stop and to say enough, and be able to make solid decisions
- Willingness Negotiate a win-win soluton with your partner
You should always work through problems and settle it in a cooperative way. After all, you and your partner thrive in a mutual understanding and peaceful atmosphere. Your goal must be clear, that fighting is not to make you a bad enemy, but rather the opposite.
Is your relationship beyond repair?
It may not be as bad as you think…as long as you still care.By applying the ideas we offer in the ebook, you will become a Positive Conflict agent, what I call being a “Good Enemy”!
Want to know more?
Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of ”The Art of Positive Conflicts“
Emotional abuse has long-term effects to the person who has experienced constant yelling and name-calling. It would be hard to accept your condition if you have been in an abusive relationship. This article will help you identify the problem and work over it.
You would be developing behavioral patterns like remaining aloof, having a low self-esteem and confidence and will make you hate yourself. This is prone to depression and anxiety. The scenario of you being abused will linger in your thoughts. This is not easy because you will be carrying this burden throughout your life.
Emotional abuse can be traumatizing. You have to deal with this one too. You would think if only there is something that you can eat that would make it vanish forever! But that’s not exactly how it works. It’s really that you have to do the work to re frame your memories and re-shape your mindset.
Here are some steps to help you move on:
- Acceptance is the key! You must accept that you are being abused. You will get nowhere if your mind is set into believing that abusive behavior is normal.
- Stop feeling guilty and blaming everything to yourself!. You are not responsible for the abusive behavior of your partner.
- What has happened; has happened. In your life, there are bad chapters that you should try to forget.
- Be confident to yourself and realize your self worth.
- Love yourself for what you are and try to remember the kind of person you are before.
You really can’t make a conscious decision to “forget” your past because healing will come with time. If you think counseling is necessary, then find a good counselor. You may find someone else to share your experiences with while you are healing.
The information in your past can help you with your future. Patience and trust is something that you must have inorder to heal the wounds of emotional abuse. If you allow positive things to happen, everything in the past will be recast in a different light.
It’s important to move on, and do what you want to do with your life, and find yourself again.
To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘
Divorce is hard as it is. It is not that easy to part ways with your partner whom you thought would be with you irrespective of whether it is good or bad. To top that, finding a divorce lawyer that has your best interests in mind – and is someone you think you can trust- is not as easy as it looks.
It is not simple to find a divorce lawyer just like finding a plumber either by using yellow pages or searching online; locating a divorce lawyer is a complex affair because you share with him/ her your emotional/ confidential information. The plumber’s work only is useful in rectifying the water flow from a faucet that is leaking whereas the lawyer’s work determines how you will be spending the rest of your life. This will decide the fate of your children/ home/ other assets etc.
Hence, it may take sometime to locate a good divorce lawyer and do not get perturbed about it. You should not select the divorce lawyer from the phonebook without proper verification.
Getting referrals from people known to you is one of the best methods of finding a divorce attorney; the referrers would partially assure for the credibility of the lawyer they recommend. It is possible that the referrer knows the lawyer personally or used the same lawyer. This is logical and better than selecting at random some lawyer from the yellow pages without looking at his antecedents.
If you are unable to get referrals and hence you are forced to get the name either from online resources or phonebook you should shortlist a divorce lawyer who offers you free initial consultation.
Are you in need of a divorce lawyer who knows a particular language or are you looking for someone who resides nearer to your residence or place of work? That is something smart to consider as divorce proceedings may take some time especially if your case is not straightforward. Under such circumstances you must locate a lawyer who speaks your mother tongue and also who is accessible in terms of distances and timings suited to you. Email accessibility of the attorney is important for faster communication; further check on the people whom he had represented for finding out his performances in such cases.
Reputed law firms nowadays display their own websites on the worldwide web. You should go through the websites to find out whether what they have given in the website is appealing to you. 3) Are your views matching their ideologies? Are your views matching their ideologies? Have they got membership of any of your trusted associations such as ethnic league or church group?
Knowing only the divorce law does not qualify a divorce attorney to represent your case. He must show compassion and sensitivity to your requirements. ) It is very important to look at the human element in addition to degrees and accreditations. Hence it is essential that you have a direct discussion with the concerned lawyer.
Ending a relationship is not always easy especially if it’s the other partner who decided they wanted out and not you. Do not rush back to them and try and get them to take you back. Calling them endlessly and pleading with them to see how much the relationship means to you won’t work either.
You could even make use of one of these to help you cope with your break up: words encouragement broken heart encouragement poems words of encouragement for a friend
I am not advising you to stop talking to the person, but you need to take a step back and give this person time to think things through without you being labeled a problem in the process.If you are going to call the person avoid talking about the relationship, talk about other things approach the whole thing from an angle of friendship. If the problem was temporary and your partner just needed some time alone then it should wear off.
If however the relationship is over and the chances of getting back have been narrowed down from slim to zero don’t worry your life must go on. There are lots of people who you would rather be with anyway. Your family and friends will always be there for you. Just give yourself time and focus on moving on.
This is where you normally get told to go out a lot and hang out with friends and spend lots of time in other peoples company and so on. Yes this does help until of course that odd moment when you are alone and your mind wonders off back to the past. In addition to socializing with other people, you can also concentrate on the things that you enjoy doing on your own.
Even if you think it doesn’t count for much, If it keeps your mind away from your relationship then stick with it. Some people are active they play sport or enjoy the outdoors life; others are more indoor movies, music, books, cooking. Even if it’s just sitting in front of your computer and doing whatever, being alone shouldn’t make you feel awkward. These are just some tips and ideas, you can find sites where this whole subject is opened up, broken down and made so simple you wont have a problem dealing with your current stress and move on qiuckly.
Do you feel like escaping or avoiding any conflict situation?
Are you feeling pushed to accept a deal where you don’t get your needs met?
Today I want to discuss with you how to deal with conflicting situations instead of avoiding them. We are also going to learn more ways on how to deal with the core issues and negotiate a fair solution in every conflict that you encounter.
What if there are more ways of dealing with conflict? What if you could use these opportunities to strengthen and deepen your relationships adding a deep feeling of connection, more meaning and sense of satisfaction?
You may think that avoiding conflict situation to keep the peace.
But do you feel happy deep inside? Or you are just giving up your own needs of recognition and affection, in exchange of ‘peace’?
Here are some thoughts while dealing with conflictive situations:
- You have to be able to give in once in a while. It is fair for the both of you.
- Just agreed to avoid the silent treatment.
- It may be best to cool it off until you are a bit calmer.
- Bringing up the past make things worse.
It just seems so easy to ignore the problems or just accept them, than trying to do something about your differences. Especially when you don’t know how to approach the situation.
Over the time, by acting like that, you fall into the habit of blindly accepting the situations, and their partner expects that that is the way you are going to react so they continue doing what they have always done. At your expenses..
It will be too late for you to save your relationship if unresolved issues tend to build up inside you.
Small differences arise between people in their everyday lives. If you decide something for your relationship, then both of you should be willing to commit to the resolution that you have made. Conflict becomes necessary at times, it can help save your marriage if done in a thoughtful manner…
Meanwhile, you can wait for your next lesson, coming to your inbox soon!
Neil Warner
PS: Need Results fast?
Visit our site Positive Conflicts , And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
It’s tough being a divorcee on the rebound. Not only does the entire divorce process drain away so much mental and physical energy, but it is also extremely daunting to have to return to the mindset of looking for love again. It takes plenty of courage to open one’s self to the ‘market’ again and it can take time for your post divorce dating to result in a perfect match for you.
As ‘modern’ as society is, being divorced leaves its mark on people, especially the emotionally fragile ones. This is not the case for all people though – different people approach the situation differently.
Some would see the bright side ‘ a new hope, a future of unlimited possibilities. Others, on the other hand, see divorce as a road to uncertainty, not necessarily an endless one, but one of long, trudging days.
It’s not uncommon for divorcees to wonder if there is something that makes them unattractive to others. It is not unusual for one to ask, ‘What is wrong with me” as though it takes only one to tango.
Although such a question may come up after a divorce, this does not say anything about the actual self worth of the person. However, it is quite often for divorces to occur simply because of incompatibility, not as a result of anything being lacking in the people involved.
It will take some time and practice to get used to dating again. This should not be seen as one’s fault or a shameful thing. You are not alone in feeling this and there are plenty of others who feel the same. Lots of these people are online and a fair percentage of them are divorcees too.
So, get involved now and stop waiting for life to find a new partner for you. The great thing is that not only could you find a long and lasting relationship from divorce dating, but that you could have a great, scintillating time during the journey.
Find Out More : Divorce Dating
Are you feeling unhappy eventhough you are with someone whom you can share intimate moments? Do you feel that instead of making your life peaceful, your relationship becomes stressful and hard to deal with?
There are a lot of factors in your relationship that puts you in an unhappy situation. We can presume that your partner might be in a matured relationship with you but what you may not know is that he may have unresolved personal pain from childhood that makes him hard to deal with. You partner might also never learnt how to accept and manage his anger. If you do not realize the factors at some point, you will find yourself in a more chaotic situation with your partner.
In this article, you will find out if your partner has passive aggressive tendencies harmful to your relationship. This will help you understand your relationship with your partner. If you are able to understand his past, you can regain your integrity and self-respect.
These are some signs of a person who has a passive aggressive behavior:
– Acts passive but aggressively gets what he wants – Agrees up front then doesn’t do what he agreed to and make things complicated in the end – Strikes his anger indirectly – Gets out of the situation where there is confrontation and criticism over an issue – Complaining about anything and thinks deeply how his life is being cursed
A passive aggressive person are emotionally unavailable and they usually do not get very close to anyone. They tend to reject emotional situations and would usually find comfort by their inner isolation.
Emotional and contradictory messages can confuse you eventhough you try to be patient and understanding. They blame you for making them angry. As a result, you feel dismissed, ignored and rejected. You do not know how to process and react. The negative environment alone can diminish your ability to decide, think and pinpoint the bad side of the relationship.
Your passive aggressive partner is confusing you that is why the situation does not improve; at some point, you explode. Over time, you will find yourself violent towards your partner as well, which was not part of your behavior before.
Do you want to be happy in a relationship?
If you siad YES, you should bear in mind that his reactions has nothing to do with YOU! The fact is that he would react in the same way to any one who threatens to enter into his private world. His fear is not of you, but of intimacy and yielding to emotional compromise with any woman. Know where you are when conflict appears and have more power to decide what is next in your life.
To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Get your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘
before I take it off line!
How do you express your anger?
- Your get “Hotheaded” and more intensely cursing and throwing things
- You do not show anger in loud ways but you are chronically irritable and grumpy
- Or constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments
The choices above simply shows are a sign that you are lacking more constructively means express your anger. This beaviour isn’t likely to lead to many successful relationships.
Expressing anger in a controlled way is extremely difficult. The tendency for most is to explode and rant on.
To some extent, you can do things that will take your mind off the anger.
But do you think walking out of the situaton a healthy way? It is important to express your anger because it will pile up inside you.
Why it is necessary to express your anger? If your anger is not allowed as an outward expression, it can turn inward—on yourself. It can create problems like getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why. Or displaying hostile and cynical behavior. Worst-Case scenario would be : hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Here are some ways on how to control your anger :
- By expressing you can say what your needs are, and how to get them, without hurting others.
- You can suppress your anger by converting it into a more constructive behavior or redirecting and focusing on something positive.
- You can calm down by controlling your inward and outward behavior, let the feelings subside to avoid health related problems
Remember that anger is a completely normal, human expression of emotion. It can turn into a destructive, unhealthy situation when it gets out of control.
Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Try to forgive the person who wronged you.
Neil Warner
PS: Need Results fast? Visit: Positive Conflicts, And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”
You may also want to check out : Anger Management On Line for your online anger management class
Do you wonder why your strong emotion hurt your partner and destroy a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of constantly being overcome by it? Yes- if you change your mindset and attitude. This means that you must stop making excuses for your bad temper. You must put in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true colors. Although it is an expression of extreme negative emotion, it shatters relationship and breeds violence.
Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”
If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.
To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must apply practical methods in your daily life to control your anger.
To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an earlier time.
These are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:
- Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
- Threatening others
- Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
- Feeling rejected
- Withdrawal from friends
- Loss of temper
So what is the best solution?
You should find out what causes your rage and when you do, develop strategies to control your anger.
You may also want to ask yourself these questions :
Is your anger important or reasonable enough?
Is it possible that you make the situation complicated?
Some ways to help you control your anger:
Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you
- Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
- It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
- Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
- Use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
- Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
- Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.
Every problem has a solution. But the best mentality is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
You may also want to check out this online anger management class
Building longer and peaceful relationship with someone is one source of happiness.
Experience tells you that It’s not easy to build a lasting relationship. Some things happend beyond expectation and you find yourself unable to maintain your relationship.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a powerful emotion. Whether you choose express it or not, it is still one thing that is going to do some damage.
What if you have ever loved someone who was angry at the world? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
There are situations in a relationship where one becomes really angry or always gets angry on anything and it creates a need to try to control everything. Anger can damage a relationship. Anger results to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely and anger seems to boil in degrees.
But ask yourself:
Does this help our relationship healthy?
Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:
- - If anger comes into the surface, it creates drama and crises in the situation, and lingers long after it leaves – It is fueled with a lot of negativity that it can quickly destroy a relationship that as been positive or good for a long period of time.
- Your self-esteem and confidence can be affected by anger.
- Anger can affect anything especially love, self esteem and trust.
- - Anger is not a peaceful emotion, it is full of uncertainty and fear, you’ll never know what happens next – Anger makes you say and do things that you will regret for the rest of your life.
Too much anger in your relationship can affect the intimacy between you and your partner.Because being in a critical situation will make you unhappy and cause more ill feelings towards your partner and eventually would destroy your intimacy.
Intimacy is delicate, once destroyed by anger, it affects trust and honesty. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance are the causes of anger and this can affect the intimacy of your relationship.
Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.
Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.
If your relationship is truly valuable and you want to protect the emotional bond you that you have invested, the two of you should accept and understand each other. Do not allow yourselves to erupt without talking what should be done to make things clear. Find ways to discuss things in a peaceful manner.
To your happiness!
Neil Warner,
PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts“