Posts Tagged ‘vampires’
David Artsmith - Everyone wants to be a vampire. They are beautiful, powerful, and immortal. But it’s not easy to actually become one. The vampire is a precarious creature, dangerous, often cunning, and willing to kill at a whim, so you have to be careful when dealing with them.
The classic way to become a vampire is for one to bite you. This is often followed by the vampire giving you some of its own blood. We don’t know for certain why this works, whether there is some sort of chemical or biological agent on the teeth or in the blood, but we do know that 8 out of 10 victims who are accosted by vampires, and who do not die, become vampires themselves.
The trick is not dying. You may find this difficult, because you are dealing with creatures that see you as nothing more than an easy meal. In fact this can be a useful visualization technique. Imagibe yourself as cake, or any kind of food, and then try to come up with ways to get what you want from people, without being eaten.
One way that a cheeseburger could stop a human from eating it is if it could get that person to fall in love. This is also a good way to stop a vampire from killing you. If you get them to fall in love with you, they will probably want to protect you, rather than sucking you dry of blood.
Getting anyone to fall in love with you is a complex task and is beyond the scope of this article. However in general, vampires like old things, since they are usually old. They are also usually into Goth or Emo culture. Again we have no definitive explanation as to why this is, it just seems to be a common trait amongst vampires.
Another way to get a vampire to turn you, rather than killing you, might be to have something you can offer to trade. For instance if you start a career working in a blood bank, and then one day become head of that bank, you will suddenly have a comm. Oddity which might be traded to an ambitious young vampire in exchange for a little immortality.
In general it is not that easy to become a vampire. However with a little cunning, and the use of these clever ideas, it is possible to live the immortal dream, and become a murderous night walking parasite for all eternity.